Family Rivalry 2013

Every year, K-State and TCU play in football.  This year, the game was in Manhattan, Kansas and my sister, her fiance, my dad and his wife all came up for the game. We had a lot of fun (maybe too much?) and K-State came out on top! 

Here's a few tailgating pictures and some at the game...

CCRM & IVF #2 Update

So we've been taking a complete break from all things infertility related.  To catch you up to date:

We had our one day work up with CCRM in Colorado back in June 2013.

Everything looked great except for...dun dun dun...my ovarian reserve.  We decided to move forward with an IVF at CCRM at the end of July 2013/August 2013.

We ended up with retrieving 5 eggs with only 2 mature at that time.  2 more matured over night and one of each fertilized with ICSI.  We froze both embies on day 3...One was a 7-cell with 10% fragmentation and 4-cell with 15% fragmentation.

Here's a few pictures from our trip to Colorado.  While there with our retrieval, we were able to do some exploring with Albert and Daisie.

With neither embryo being super great quality, and day 3 at that, we decided to transfer both in October.  Unfortunately, neither one took.  Dr. M thinks it was due to quality (not a big surprise there) and wanted to regroup to figure out a plan next.

Talk about devastation. This was such a difficult time for us, but we weren't giving up hope.  After regrouping with Dr. M, we decided we were going to try again with my own eggs before even considering donar egg or embryo adoption.  She recommended we try again at least 6 months from now and suggested I get on a slue of supplements/meds while going gluten free.  Hey, whatever it takes.

So, here we are.  In a position of disappointment but we haven't given up hope.  We have age on our side.  We have hope on our side. We have faith on our side.  Here's to round #3...

Marc and Dan's Wedding!

It's not every day that two of your best friends get married...to each other! Greg and I were both in the wedding party for our good friends Marc and Danielle.  It was so much fun and such a beautiful wedding! 

Bridesmaids with the Bride

Getting our hair done!

Can't forget Starbucks!

Greg and I with the Bride and Groom!

Baker tennis girls...love you all! 

St. Louis Cardinals, Zoo, and Music

We went to St. Louis with our good friends and had a wonderful time! 

1st on the agenda, a Cardinals game of course! After the game, we spent the night out in downtown St. Louis.  Casino fun, bar, beers, rumchata, and White Castle. Let's just say that White Castle is never a good decision the next morning.

We then went to the St. Louis Zoo the next day, which I had been dying to go to for awhile. Below you'll see a snuggly gorilla eating some lunch. 

And last on the agenda was an Alkaline Trio show in St. Louis.  It was a great show but it wasn't so fun driving back to Kansas City that night for work the next morning.  

Ahhh....while we are young. :)

This bridge as a special significance for me.  While I was an assistant tennis coach, our team played in St. Louis during spring break one year. The head coach actually tried to drive the bus under this bridge but it didn't fit. We drove all the way back to Kansas from St. Louis with 1/2 a roof on the bus. Crazy. 

Happy 30th Birthday, Honey!

Today my wonderful, caring, sweet, handsome husband turned 30. We had a surprise party for him at the Royals vs. Cardinals game and he had no idea it was coming. Thanks to all of the family and friends that made the trek in the "hurricane" type storm.  It meant the world to have you there!

A plan is never a plan

I haven't updated in a while.  It's been a rough few weeks.  With our first failed IVF, well I don't even know if it would be qualified as a full IVF because we never made it to freeze/transfer...and then some news from friends, mother's day and a recent test, it's been a whirlwind.

So here's what's happening:

Our 2 embies stopped dividing on day 3, so we didn't make it to transfer as I previously published.  DH and I were so ready to just take a break and do something for ourselves.  We talked to our best friends about going to Vegas in July...they were in! Awesome! We just wanted to get away from everything, take a break and spend time together. Well..about 5 days after we booked the Vegas trip, my friend wrote me an email to tell me she was pregnant.  Not planned at all, obviously.  While my heart sunk and I was in shock, I can say that I am happy for her.  She knows everything we are going through and was so worried about how we would react.  That's how you know she is a true friend.  So...Vegas is a no go.

I decided to call my RE and get my AMH retested before we went in for our WTF appointment.  I was thinking to myself...I've been on all of these supplements for 6 months, it has to have gone up.  No, I was wrong. Dead wrong.  My AMH (which measures ovarian reserve) is now undetectable at <.16.  WHAT???? HOW???  Such devastating news.   I had a major breakdown thinking that I was probably at the end of the road of having my own biological children.  When we met with your RE, she suggested that we move to Donar Egg, but said she would do it again with my own eggs if that is what we wanted.  She wouldn't change our protocol, which made me question if we should get a second opinion.

So that's where we are today.  It was so fast, our plan is a 180 from what we had planned...taking a break and going to Vegas over the summer.

I'm happy to say that we have a phone consult with Dr. Minjarez at CCRM next week.  This is the best clinic in the country and I have all the confidence in the world that if we can get pregnant with my own eggs, it will be through them.  I'm curious what they say and what they will recommend as far as protocol.  Thanks to the ladies of TB for all of your help and advice!

NIAW Post

We came out on facebook this week. After reading it, I wish I would have added a few things...so that's what I'm doing here. Additions in BLUE  :)

Even though the week is almost over, I still wanted to post about National Infertility Awareness Week as it is something near and dear to our hearts.  We have been struggling with infertility over the last few years and we both believe it’s important to bring awareness to this issue as it’s typically not on most people’s radars.

Infertility is a heart-wrenching, faith-questioning, relationship-testing, account-draining, life-altering experience. One in eight couples struggles through this every single day, so chances are you know someone very close to you going through it. My biggest piece of advice is to let them know you are thinking of them and support their decisions but don’t offer advice unless asked for it. You don’t know their story, what they are going through or where they are in their journey. Please know that some of us would gladly take 9 months of extreme morning sickness or a sleep deprived life just to hold that miracle in our arms, so... please think before you complain…in person or online. It’s like when someone complains about a parent or sibling when others would give anything to bring them back into their lives…it hurts. Just know how lucky you are. While we are happy for our family and friends when they have a baby or share joyous occasions/pictures of their children, it is a reminder of what we so desperately want but don’t have.  Please include us in any and all functions as we don't want to feel left out or treated differently but know that there are going to be times when we need to distance ourselves from situations that cause stress or anxiety.  It's nothing personal to you, but something we have to do for ourselves, for our own health.  We are surrounded by it everywhere we go and it takes an undefined strength to keep pushing forward through the difficult times. This isn’t a devastation you only encounter once, but it is one that comes on a reoccurring basis…every single month. It’s hard to wait around for something that might never be, but it’s hard to let go when it is everything you have ever wanted. Thank you to our family and friends who have been a great support system over the last few years…you know who you are. We love you and are lucky to have you in our lives as others who struggle with this go through it alone.   We are stronger because of this experience and will continue to fight every step of the way.

More info about NIAW, infertility, treatments, costs, and legislative issues: http://www.resolve.org/

Some great advice if you know someone struggling through infertility: http://www.resolve.org/support-and-services/for-family--friends/infertility-etiquette.html