2013

2013 is tomorrow and I've been thinking about some changes I'm going to make.  I've never kept a new years resolution but hoping the idea of going through IVF will motivate me.  I want to be as healthiest as possible and these are some things that I can do to make that happen.  So...I'm sitting here enjoying my last diet dr. pepper until further notice (all soda for that matter).  In 2013 I hope to...

1. Cut out all soda and caffeine
2. Eat clean as much as possible
3. Work out before work in the morning or at lunch (instead of after work) at least 4x a week
4. Get to work early...before 7:30 everyday
5. Be more productive at work. Take things one task at a time and get things DONE

Also - before I start my stims in March, I want to lose 20lbs.  Hopefully these things above will help me do it. 

 

Cheers to 2013...You will be missed... :)

IVF Protocol

So here it is.  With the start of my period today...we are ready to go with starting the IVF process and our calendar.

Since we are doing IVF with PGS, there are only so many spots available at our clinic each month. We had to push everything off a month, so here's our plan...

Been on a slew of vitamins since 12/1/2012 - DHEA, Vitamin B, C, D, LCartine, Co-Q, Fish Oil, Prenatal (this one for 2+ years)...

12/31/2012 - Period Arrives
1/1/2013 - Start 4mg Estrace
2/11/2013 - Begin 10mg Provera daily for 7 days
2/17/2013 - Stop Estrace/Provera
2/22/2013 - If no period, call.  Begin BCP
3/05/2013 - Last BCP
3/05/2012 - Supression ultrasound and blood tests
3/07/2013 - DH and I take Z-Pak
3/08/2013 - Begin Dexamethasone, continue prenatal and start baby aspirin daily
3/08/2013 - Begin Microdos Lupron 10 Units, 12 hours apart
3/10/2013 - Begin Fertility Drug/Dosage
3/10/2013 - Begin Injections of Saizen 23 units (Growth Hormone)
3/12/2013 - Day 3 Labs
3/15/2013 - Day 6 Labs and Scan
3/18/2013 - Day 9/10 Labs and Scan
3/20/2013 - 3/22/2013 - Tentative ER
IVF with ICSI
Send off for PGS testing. FX!! FET 6-8 weeks later.

So there it is. I know plans change...but it feels good to have something down and in writing. :)

Mind-F

I hate IF and everything that comes with it.  Even with our DOR diagnosis last month, knowing we wouldn't be able to conceive on our own, silly stupid me still had hope. Maybe we could be that miracle conception couple. So frustrating...

It went down like this.  I hadn't let myself think for one minute I could be pregnant...that is until I felt like I was going to throw up in the middle of the day on Friday. Okay...no big deal. I was hungry and needed to eat.  So...Saturday rolls around and my boobs were sore. I mean...like really sore. I never get sore boobs...but maybe it's because of my period. But they were sore ALL day. I couldn't even shower without discomfort.  So..DH decides to go watch the UFC fight with some friends while I got caught up on my DVR.

The sore boobs still wouldn't go away, so I went looking for an HPT. I found one....took it...went to get the laundry...came back...and there was a second line.  It's the first time in my life I've seen a second line.  Was my mind playing tricks on me? I have no idea. It was so faint, it couldn't be. There's no way. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I had been spotting for a few days before...sure signs of AF. 

So the next morning, I told DH what had happened.  We went to buy some digital HPT...knowing that it couldn't be...but hoping that it could. Sure enough, a BFFN. "NOT PREGNANT" starred at me.

So now...I don't know what happened.  Was it a chemical pregnancy? Was I even pregnant at all? Man...I really hate IF and the mind-F games that it plays on you.  Even when you know you are out of the game on your own, you still have some sliver of hope it could be a miracle. 

Beagle Love

These are my loves, my life. They both have gotten me through some of my worst IF days. They cuddle close and show me unconditional love....as they are both curled up with me on the couch. ❤ my beagles

SATC Quote

To keep me going...I'm going to try and find positive, influential quotes along the way.  (Thank you Pinterest!)

I love this quote because I have always been a believer in everything happens for a reason.  While it's hard to find a reason why we are struggling through IF when so many others don't have to, I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, one way or another. Oh...and I'm a huge fan of Sex and the City. :)

Miracle Quote

This is going to be my motivation and inspiration as we continue on this journey.  So many times we have been at the point of giving up, but we can't just yet. Hopefully our miracle will come soon...

TTC History

So I should probably give a history of our TTC journey.  I'm 27, DH is 29.  We've been TTC since November 2010, so over 2 years to this point.  Like most couples, we thought we would get pregnant right away...but for some reason, I always had doubt in the back of my mind.

We tried for about 1 year before going to see my OBGYN at the time.  She did some tests and said I wasn't ovulating (WRONG!).  I was completely naive thinking that they knew what they were doing and was on 3 unmonitored cycles of Clomid before deciding to go to an RE.  In February 2012, I went to an RE for additional testing, hoping to get a game plan.  At the time, everything looked good and the RE confirmed ovulation and all of our tests came back normal (SA, HSG etc).  After 2 more rounds of monitored clomid with TI and IUI#1, we decided to change fertility meds. The clomid was also giving me monster mood swings and headaches so I started taking femara and added in progesterone for 2 cycles with TI and IUI#2.  Still nothing. 

In college I was told that I had endometriosis, although the doctor could never confirm without surgery.  In July of 2012, we decided to do a lap and found stage II endometriosis that was all removed.  The doctor also found a polyp that he removed as well and said our changes increased by 50% in the next 6-12 months. 

After taking a few months off from medicated cycles after my surgery, we did one more cycle of femara and progesterone with IUI#3.  After that came back negative, I was searching the Internet for answers.  What's wrong? Why can't we be pregnant? We didn't have any answers.

I came across some awesome ladies (on the BUMP) who asked if I had my FSH and AMH levels tested for my ovarian reserve/egg quality.  Surely I had...since we did so much blood work back in February and this is a test RE's typically do when you first go see them.

I called my RE to see if these tests were done and what the results were.  Turned out, they didn't do the tests because I was only 27 and my periods were regular.  I asked to do the blood tests since we had already met our insurance maximums for the year...what's another test?  They strongly suggested I didn't need it...so I fought back saying "I JUST WANT TO KNOW"...it's another thing we can cross off our lists if everything is fine...which is exactly what we were assuming.

BOY were we wrong! Turns out, at 27, I have DOR.  My AMH levels came back at .23 and FSH levels at 11.1.  The nurse left me a message with this information saying..."your ovaries on are their way out"..."It's like you have 45 year old ovaries"...EXCUSE ME?

I was floored... I had to push to get this test done. I was frustrated...how much money and time did we waste? I was broken...what does this mean? Will we be able to have our own children? 

DH and I decided that it was time to change RE's.  How could we trust someone that treated us this way and didn't do any basic testing at the beginning of our medicated cycles? 

So in November, we made an appointment with a 2nd RE who so far, we have loved.  She's a straight shooter...telling us how it is, which I appreciate.  She likes to use the metaphor "this is the deck of cards you were dealt and we are going to do everything we can to make it a winning hand."

We will begin IVF with ICIS and PGS testing in February.  Right now, I'm on a slew of vitamins and supplements, doing whatever I can to help my egg quality.

This journey has been a struggle...something I never thought I would have to go through. I'm lucky in that my husband has been amazing. He's so supportive and has been my rock through everything.

First Post

I've always thought blogging would be a great outlet for me and a way to document our journey.  Not only do I want to document our IF struggles, but everything life throws our way...the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.  As you can tell from the title of our blog, we have a love for baseball, beagles, and beer.  We hope to love our very own baby or babies one day. Right now, our dogs are our kids...and this picture pretty much sums it up...